Cutting words

I listened carefully your words today....ansiously for what i was expected.....unfortunately, as all my buddies say...."no one gets what it wants".

Your words cut like a knife in my heart, I felt ashamed for expecting again something that it will never happens......, you were so specific, unless i was waiting for something new this time...i was hoping...but i realize that in fact I´m stupid, i let you breack my heart again and again and again.

I´m not a bad person, you know...i´ll do the best and special with you....i always told you to be my girl, and you always say "later", "not now", give me some time", "stop smoking and maybe"....you know....i don´t want to change anything of you.....my effort is every fucking day, ask if you need something, I always try to make you feel better.....in fact I know already that you don´t love me....today you were clearer much as the other days....and I´m sorry....It hurts anyway.....i cannot be just like you....you say you love me, you say you need me, you say i like you......not all the parts of me right?¡¡¡¡, I think it was a kind of cruel, i don´t deserve this, and really is just not fair, but then....after all it does not matter, you will be just fine.

Is not just about you, you know....my life...since my perspective is getting worst everyday.....yes I´m sad....very sad, and yes my darling....I´ve been alone for so long...and i don´t want to be alone anymore.

Why you just play with me?
why you said tha you loved me?
why you said that you were going to fight for me?
why your cheated kisses?
why your lover words?
why you asking me if...you know?

It will be hard to left you behind....but harder cure my heart...is that becuase i cry right now....because this side of my room call me again and really i´m so dissapointed that maybe, just maybe I will live in there.........agin.....the darkest side of my room with my lonliness at my back.